The One Who Got Away

“We loved each other so much that we had to let go.”

          They say only time and love will go together. I couldn’t agree more to that until I finally experienced and understood what it truly meant.

          I’ve fallen in love many times in my life but never did I understand why I love and how love really is. As I share this story with you, I’m grateful because God made me realize this early on in my life.

          I remember I was new to this place. I could even call it ‘heaven here on earth’. I was a young upcoming freshman in the university. I was trying to familiarize myself with this huge and beautiful campus. I was alone walking when this guy who I cannot name was riding his motorcycle passed through the same avenue. He was good-looking, but I told myself, “Duh, so what if he’s good-looking?” In my second year, I joined the Youth for Christ (YFC). Little did I know that he’s part of the group before me. So, I said, “Okay. I’m sorry. I didn’t think he’s also into this. I thought he’s just one of those handsome guys who are nothing but a pretty face.” We seldom talked. He has his own circle of friends; although, we have common friends, too.

          Youth camp was one of the things we look forward to in YFC. I can vividly recall that night when a friend told me, “Sis, join us tonight. You only need empowerment.” He said that because I wasn’t feeling well and wasn’t in the mood at the time. I thought about it and went off because I had nothing else to do. The guy who cannot be named stood right next to me. I was wearing this thick moss green sweater to warm my cold skin. We were standing in front of a bon fire. That’s when we asked our names. Crazy! It’s only in my third year that we finally introduced ourselves to each other because nobody else did. Now, we’re friends.

          Another event brought us close to each other. We came off a mini-worship event we call ‘Praise Jam’. The brothers had to escort the sisters home. Guess what? He was the only person left to escort me home. A brother teased us, “Eeeh…You look good together.” I was like, “What in the world? I don’t even like this guy and neither does he like me. How can that be?” Shortly after, I felt like, “Hmmm… Should I consider that?” But I eventually dropped the idea.

          Fast track, we became friends. We exchanged SMS but not frequently. No expectations at all. He had a girlfriend before we became really close. Before I got to know him, I had a boyfriend, too. Finally, we’re both single. I went to Cebu for an educational tour and was set to focus all my time in making everything work as I spearheaded the activity. On our first evening in Cebu, I’ve met the guy’s older brother who I didn’t realize until our second night. I had no idea that he’ll be in Cebu with his family for a tennis tournament. What are the odds, right? It feels like destiny. Whoa! So, we met by surprise. Our love story started there officially as I claim. Haha.. Aw. When we went back to our beloved university, we kept communicating. We saw each other frequently. He went out of his way just to see me. Let’s cut to the chase. So, we’re officially together. He’s my boyfriend and I’m his girlfriend. It felt like there’s no more tomorrow when we’re together. Nothing else mattered. Holding each other’s hands seemed like forever. We’re inseparable until that day when one decision changed our destiny. We broke up.

After three years, we saw each other as we both agreed. But we didn’t get back together. Another two years passed, we saw each other again. We still cared for each other. We were wearing our older faces. A lot of things have changed. Then, we hugged for the very first time since the last time we did. I felt so much love. I thought it will be a wonderful getting back together, but I was wrong. It has finally come to a full stop.

In hindsight, I realized how much he loved me not because of the beautiful words he said and not because of every promise he fulfilled. He always placed my welfare in front of his. He even laid his life for me, and I don’t have to elaborate how. He showed me how to love without expecting anything in return. He said this, “You’ll find someone better than me.” He knew me so well that he reminded me of who I really am and what I wanted in a relationship. He was willing to let me go in spite of the pain he felt just to make me happier. We had different plans. We were so different. He was my knight and shining armor, and I was his damsel in distress. We were that kind of couple. It worked out but not long enough.

There are times when I wonder, “What could have happened if we only had the same plans in the future? Maybe, we would still be together now and settle down.” But there are things that are meant to be just a thing in the past. I even call him my ‘One Great Love’ because that was when I poured my heart out. I loved him and God only knows how much. Now, I say he’s ‘The One Who Got Away’. As I sit on my chair and smile, I’m thankful because I had the chance to experience that kind of love that transcends my own wishes and places my beloved’s first.

God prepared me to understand why I love and how love really is so that when I'm finally with the person He has prepared for me, I will know how to love him as God intended me to. I call him my ‘Last Love’.