Moved. Challenged. Empowered.
Back to zero. Back to square one. To some people, it's quite terrifying or annoying. To me, it's an exciting path. New strategy. New pasture. New life.
Going back to square one is like reengineering for me. I used to hate that thought, but I realized being open to changes is a great thing to start with. Being open to changes means being open to beautiful surprises. Detours appeal to me since then.
Last night, I excitedly went to the park at the heart of the city where I live. I had to meet a VIP (Very Important Person). He was only here for one day. So, I walked along the boulevard to get there, and when I finally arrived at the venue, I searched for him right away. When I found him, I took a seat and watched the different presentations. I held his book and was ready to get it signed. Yes, he is an author. My initial plan was to see him, talk to him, and get his signature. That's it! But something happened that night. It was like a thief that came at noon. No prior notice at all. Unexpected.
I was seated on a Monobloc chair in front of this VIP. A number of presentations came before him, and I paid an ounce of attention to them. Never did I expect that some sort of a detour will happen to me. I was so focused on my personal agenda, my personal goals. I changed when I saw similar faces I usually see in the daily mass I go to. All of them are God's servant leaders. They came from different communities, but they were all there giving glory to God. I was humbled. I burst into tears. The passion I saw especially in the youngbloods was more than enough to move me. They reminded me how my paternal grandma took me to one of their charismatic gatherings. I was only 10 or younger, and it didn't mean much to me then. In hindsight, I'm grateful my grandma decided to bring me to that event because it led me to knowing Christ.
Then, came the VIP's turn to feed the crowd who hunger for God. He's a VIP to me not just because he's the preacher but he's a dad to me and to the countless youth he loved and cared for. We call him Daddy O. One thing he said that hit me was there's no difference among the communities gathered because we all have a singular purpose- to worship God and make Him more famous. Tears welled up again as I heard Daddy O utter those words. I rediscovered how important it is to share and fix on this common goal that it's never been about me, it's all about Him. Another word inspired me that same night: Action is the best preacher. Whoa! It's as if God was reinforcing me something.
Earlier this morning, my parents and I went to the Sunday Mass service. While we were preparing, I heard the priest talk on TV about the current status of the churchgoers and how it was in the old times. He said that the early Christians had a difficulty preaching the word because there were a lot of obstacles, but they fought and died martyr of their faith. They were very passionate in proclaiming the gospel. Now, we see people who would still think if they should go or not to the church and hear the word of God, with everything available for us- the cross, the sacraments, etc.. At that point, my heart was in pain. This whole thing of me being broken and disturbed didn't stop. God was indeed speaking to me. He was telling me the obvious- He's sending me out into a mission of spreading His word and His love. The priest then continued and said that yes, this is a sad fact but this is such an exciting and challenging time for us especially to those who would say yes to that call of renewing the face of the earth. I was challenged, but I was also hopeful and empowered to accomplish my mission.
I'm glad I was disturbed. I was in pain. I was moved, challenged, and empowered. Yes, I'm back to square one like the very first day I decided to offer my whole life to God in service. Very passionate. My heart is on fire. I want to burn so that it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me.
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